


No One Hurts Our Boy

by dont_hate_me01



Category: Supernatural RPF
Genre: Drama, Friendship, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Physical Abuse, Sexual Abuse
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-04-14
Updated: 2013-04-23
Packaged: 2017-12-08 11:53:33
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 4
Words: 17,042
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/761019
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/dont_hate_me01/pseuds/dont_hate_me01
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Jared is in an abusive relationship but hides it well, Jensen and the other supernatural cast are starting to realize something is wrong with Jared around set.  Things come to a head at a supernatural convention with all the supernatural family there.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> **AN 1:** This fic started out as a prompt from [](http://julieshadow.livejournal.com/profile)[**julieshadow**](http://julieshadow.livejournal.com/) over at [](http://write-on69.livejournal.com/profile)[**write_on69**](http://write-on69.livejournal.com/) which can be found [HERE](http://write-on69.livejournal.com/2885.html)  
>  **AN 2:** A HUGE thank you to my beta [](http://tattooeddevil.livejournal.com/profile)[**tattooeddevil**](http://tattooeddevil.livejournal.com/) for all of her hard word and another HUGE thank you to the amazing [](http://nanoks.livejournal.com/profile)[](http://nanoks.livejournal.com/)**nanoks** for the most awesome art ever!

[ ](http://s792.photobucket.com/user/Dont_hate_me01/media/Banner1_zpsec72a457.jpg.html)

**Chapter 1**

[ ](http://s792.photobucket.com/user/Dont_hate_me01/media/chap11_zps18333054.jpg.html)

"You'll never fit in, Jared. You'll always be a freak!" A dull thump was followed by a soft whimper and then a door slammed shut. Jared stayed huddled in the corner for a long time; even when his legs started to cramp up in his uncomfortable position did he not move.

He got jolted back to reality when his cell phone suddenly rang in the next room. At first he ignored it, but thinking that it might be Kerr, he jumped up and limped over to where the phone was loudly chiming. Not even bothering to check the caller ID, he answered quickly. "Jared speaking."

Jared smiled when he heard who the voice on the other side of the phone was, and then groaned as his split lip twitched painfully, a drop of blood pooling quickly to the surface again. He wiped it off with his hand and concentrated on what was said to him. Slowly he shook his head. He couldn't believe it; they had to be making a mistake. He stumbled through his words as he tried getting an answer together; in the end he could only thank them over and over again. He got the part; he was going to be Sam Winchester. Maybe now Kerr would think better of him. He could only hope.

[](http://s792.photobucket.com/user/Dont_hate_me01/media/a5882fbf-0165-493f-9b31-c63a20277b0e_zps34c1e593.jpg.html)

  
**Five Years Later**

Jensen watched as Jared's body hit the matt after yet another take. They'd been doing the same scene over and over; Jensen had lost count what take they were at. He really wished Jared would let Mike do it, but as usual Jared was being stubborn. They all knew why Jared always insisted on doing the stunts himself. He had to prove that he could do it. The only problem was that they all knew he could do it, but Jared didn't believe it himself. Even after five years of working together, Jensen could still see the way Jared doubted himself. He frowned. It was that ass's, Kerr's, fault. He still couldn't see what Jared saw in the other guy; he was just another actor with some business activities on the side.

Speaking of the toad, Jensen frowned again as he saw the man himself walking over to the set. He could've sworn that Jared said that his boyfriend was in LA on business, but now the one and only _douche bag_ was coming his way. Jensen stood tall and plastered a fake smile on his face. He hated Kerr and Kerr hated him, but for Jared's sake he would pretend as if they could be friendly to one another. "Kerr," Jensen nodded his head in the other man's direction, but made no effort to take his hand in greeting.

Kerr sneered openly before he also addressed Jensen by his name. He immediately turned his attention to where Jared was once again taking his position to throw himself through the window. "How long before this charades ends?"

Jensen had to bite hard into his bottom lip to keep the words he wanted to say inside. Instead he took a deep breath and said, "They'll wrap up within in the next few minutes or so."

"Good, I hate waiting." Kerr replied and then started to walk away. He would wait for Jared at his trailer.  
Jensen didn't reply, but just kept his attention fixed on Jared stunt’s and sighed as Jared went through the window and landed perfectly on the mat. He was even more relieved when he heard the words _cut_ and that's a _wrap_. Even before Jared could get to his feet Jensen helped him up from the mat. "I need to introduce you to Mike, also known as your stunt double." Jensen grinned as he pulled Jared in a hug. He could see how tired Jared was. "It's time you went home."

Jared didn't have the energy to even think of a snarky remark to Jensen's comment, but he had to agree with his best friend. It was time he went home. Luckily they had a three day weekend and then only one week of shooting left before it was convention time again. He loved going to conventions, the fans’ energy lifted his spirit each and every time. "Sounds like a good idea. You want to hook up tomorrow?"

Jensen shrugged his shoulders. "Don't you and Kerr have any plans?"

Jared frowned. "Kerr's in LA."

Jensen sighed. "He's waiting for you in your trailer." He had to bite his tongue again when he saw the way Jared's shoulders slumped.

"Oh, what a surprise." Jared forced out a smile and hoped Jensen would believe him. "I'll chat to you later then?"

"Sounds great." Jensen pulled Jared into a hug and ignored the way Jared stiffened up in his arms. "Get some sleep."

"I will." Jared turned away. He could only hope that Jensen didn't feel his reaction and he could only pray that Kerr didn't see the hug. Slowly he made his way over to his trailer. He took a deep breath and then opened the door. A fake smile plastered on his face.

Kerr turned around as the trailer door opened behind him and sneered as Jared entered. "Wow, what a wonder, you're still in one piece." He looked Jared up and down. "Such filthy clothes. Get rid of them, we've got a dinner to attend."

"I thought you were in LA on business?" Jared asked as he started to strip off his clothes.

"I was, but this came up and it's important, so don't go and screw it up. Keep quiet, don't talk, and for fuck sake don't say anything about this stupid fucking show." Kerr nearly yelled out the last words as he stepped into Jared's space. "You know the only thing you're good for is to take my cock and to blow me." He ran his fingers over Jared's jaw line. "Speaking of blow jobs - you've not greeted me yet, so why don't you get down and do just that." He pressed down on Jared's shoulder and sighed in content as Jared reached for his fly to release his cock from his trousers. "I do hope that trailer door is locked, Jared, I don't want us to be interrupted, especially not by that pompous Ackles."

Jared shivered at the threat and sighed in relief as he remembered to lock the door after he found out Kerr was waiting for him. Knowing that no answer was expected of him, he pulled Kerr's cock from his pants and lapped at the head. It was already glistering with pre-cum. He pulled the cock into his mouth, letting it rest on his tongue for a second or two as he breathed through his nose and then started suckling hard. Kerr loved it hard and fast - he loved gripping Jared by the hair and slamming into his mouth. Jared could only hope that today would not be one of those days. He made sure to cover his teeth and rolled his tongue around the head, paying special attention to the vein that ran along the shaft on the underside. He made sure to use lots of spit as he lapped and slobbered the cock.

"Deep, Jared." Kerr mumbled and gasped as Jared swallowed him down. He could feel his pleasure building up, his balls drawing up into his body and with a grunt he felt himself go. He thrust forward, letting his cock press on the back of Jared's throat and grunted in satisfaction as Jared swallowed him over and over before lapping him clean. He waited patiently for Jared to clean him up and tuck him back into his trousers before he stepped back. "Not one of your best efforts, Jared." He turned and started to leave. "I'm leaving in two minutes, meet me at the car."

Jared stayed on his knees as his boyfriend left his trailer. He shivered and rubbed his arms with his hands before he got up and dressed quickly. There was no time to take Sam's clothes back to wardrobe; he'd have to do that on Monday morning. He grabbed his wallet and phone and headed out. As he neared Kerr's car he saw Clif, Jensen and Misha standing next to Misha's car. He waived at them when they looked in his direction and then quickly got into the car. Kerr was sneering again. "Fucking pricks." He started his car and with tires squealing, he pulled away.

"I thought Jared said Kerr was in LA?" Misha asked.

Jensen huffed. "Apparently not." He turned to Clif. "You want to watch the game tomorrow?"

"Sure, your place?" Clif asked as he looked on when Kerr pulled away. There was nothing more that he wanted to do than to slam that man's face into a wall.

"My place is good." Jensen looked at Misha. "You coming as well?"

"Nah, not this time. Vicky is here." He grinned.

"Say no more." Jensen held his hands up in mock surrender. "Spare us the details." He grinned. "Let's get going. I'm in need of a hot shower."

Misha laughed and slapped Jensen on the back. "See you on Monday." He turned to walk away but then stopped. "If you happen to see Jared before Monday, get him to eat something."

Jensen frowned. "Did he not eat at lunch time?" He hadn’t been there at lunch time, he had had a meeting with his agent.

"Nothing. Said something about eating too much last night." Misha waved and then walked off.

Jensen growled. "He had one piece of pizza and a glass of water." He turned his attention to Clif. "I just wish I could get Kerr out of Jared's life."

"You're not the only one, Jensen. But that's not our duty. Jared has to do it himself." Clif's hands were balled into fists. Jared stood well over six foot and was supposed to have some meat on his bones, but the young man always watched his weight. He had overheard some of the ladies in wardrobe complaining that the costumes for Sam had to be taken in, they were too baggy for his frame. "Let's go home." Cliff waited for Jensen to get into the vehicle before he turned to the driver side to get in and take Jensen home.

**TBC...**


	2. Chapter 2

**Warning:** This chapter contains a graphic rape scene.

**Chapter 2**

[ ](http://s792.photobucket.com/user/Dont_hate_me01/media/chap21_zps00cd489b.jpg.html)

Jared grinned from ear to ear as he stepped into the hotel and the first of their crazy fans spotted them. He had to laugh as Clif growled, but before any of the fans could reach them they were safely in the lift and on their way to their rooms.

"Hate it when we have to share the same hotel with the fans, it makes my life hell." Clif growled again.

"Don't worry; it's only for two days. Sunday night we're out of here again." Jared slapped Clif on the shoulder and stepped out on their allocated floor. He loved conventions; it gave him a sense of freedom which on a normal day he couldn't experience as freely as here. He laughed as Clif mumbled something but didn't look back at the big guy behind him as he went on the hunt for his room. He grinned when he saw that he got the corner room. They were always more spacious. Jensen was right next to him and Cliff's room was three doors away. He opened the door and placed his carry-on bag on the large, extra lengthy bed. He was going to sleep so good tonight. Jared turned when there was a knock on his door. He turned and smiled as Jensen stood in the door. "Your room all right?"

Jensen nodded as he walked deeper into the room. "Can't complain." He grinned when he saw the bed. "Well I see they got your bed right." He knew how many times Jared grumbled about the beds always being too short.

"It's great." Jared looked at Jensen and then back at the bag. "You going to unpack first before heading out?" He knew Jensen was still angry with him because he wasn't going with them for drinks. Kerr was coming in and Jared had to wait for him.

Jensen nodded. "Sure you don't want to come with? Kerr can take a cab and meet us there."

Jared wanted nothing more than to say yes, but he also knew that Kerr would explode and that was one thing he didn't want to happen this weekend. He was already in trouble for not making up an excuse not to come to the convention. Instead he shook his head. "No, go ahead. I know Kerr said he wanted to spend some time with me." Jared looked down at his hands before he told the next lie. "We need some time alone." He looked up and smiled while at the same time he prayed that Jensen would believe him.

Jensen could see the tremble in Jared's hands, the way his body tightened up and without looking at Jared he knew that his best friend was lying through his teeth. For the hundredth time Jensen thought of confronting Jared, but he didn't want to scare Jared, and that's what was going to happen the moment he made his claim. He could only hope that Jared would come to his senses. "Okay, if you change your mind, you know where to find us." He smiled softly.

Jared nodded his head. "Sure, thanks." He indicated to the shirt in his hand. "Need to take a shower."

"Well, don't let me stop you, Sasquatch." Jensen grinned and then turned to leave the room. He came to a halt at the door. "Jay?" He turned around and looked at Jared. "You know we are all there for you, right?"

Jared nodded his head once. "Get going, you don't want to make Clif wait for you." He turned around and closed the bathroom door behind him, shutting Jensen out. He leaned against the closed door and tiredly dragged his hand across his face. He sighed and then started to strip, he needed to shower before Kerr arrived; he couldn't afford to be late. He also couldn't afford to dwell on Jensen's words.

As Jared disappeared behind the closed bathroom door, Jensen leaned with his forehead against the room door. He hated seeing Jared like this; he had no idea how long he could just stand back and watch. Quietly he opened the door and walked out, not looking around but just making his way down to Clif's room. He didn't see the figure standing at the corner, the man's face twist in jealousy as he watched Jensen leaving Jared's room.

Kerr waited until Jensen disappeared from his view before he made his way over to Jared's door. He wanted nothing more than to kick the door in, but he also knows that he couldn't let the rest of the world see his rage. Jared was a golden boy to the hundreds of thousands of girls out there, and it did his own image very good to be associated with the younger man, even if Jared was such a disappointment.

Jared laughed as he heard the knock on the door. He smiled as he opened the door and turned back. "You forgot something, Jen?" Only when he received no reply back did he look over his shoulder and the blood drained from his face. "Kerr."

"Not exactly the person who've been hoping for, now is it babe?" Kerr sneered as he closed the door behind him. "Did I not tell you that I didn't want to hear that prick's name out of your mouth when I'm here?" Kerr knew he was being unreasonable, he was only supposed to be here in four hours, but he managed to catch an earlier flight.

Jared opened his mouth to reply, but then closed it again and nodded his head. "I'm sorry, Kerr."

Kerr snorted. "You don't look sorry, babe. Why don't you just come over here and show me how sorry you really are." He palmed his cock through his jeans. "You better be really sorry, Jared. You don't want to explain to all those fans how you tripped over your own feet again, now do you?" He loved leaving his marks on Jared, but he also knew he had to be careful, the tabloids would love to run with a story about how he was abusing Jared, and that would not be good for his image.

"Crawl, Jared." Kerr barked the order as Jared started to walk towards him.

Jared sank wordlessly to his knees and crawled over to where Kerr was standing. He came to a halt and stared at Kerr's black boots. He knew what he had to do in order for Kerr to believe that he was sorry. He didn't want Kerr to hit him, he just wanted to see the man that he loved smile and spend some time with the fans. He pressed down a shiver that threatened to shake through his body before he crawled a few inches closer and then he started licking at Kerr's boots.

The boots tasted of dirt. The leather and polish left a dull taste in his mouth, but it didn't stop Jared from kissing and lapping at each toe of the boots before lapping at them higher and higher. He made the slurping noises that were required from him, he used his spit and his cheek to clean every inch of the boots clean before he sank back onto his knees and waited for the verdict.

Kerr's cock pulsated with life within its clothed entrapment. Every time he saw Jared on his knees like this, worshipping his boots it made him want to fuck Jared stupid. But, he also never let Jared knew how much this effected him. He palmed his cock again. "It's a start." He grabbed hold of Jared's long hair - the only good thing about Jared - and yanked his head back. "You'll never win an Oscar for that performance, I had to think of someone else to make me hard like this," he pressed Jared's face into his crotch. "Maybe you can do better with this part." He widened his stance and sighed in pure pleasure as Jared's hands got his cock released from his trousers and took him into his mouth. He let Jared lap at the aching tip, and groaned as Jared's tongue found the nerves nestled on the other side of his shaft sending shivers up and down his spine. He yanked hard at Jared's hair and as Jared pulled off he slammed hard into Jared's mouth. "Take it Jared, take it like the good whore you are." He grunted out in pleasure as Jared's eyes bulged and his face turned red as he struggled to breathe through his nose. He didn't let up but kept on slamming into Jared's mouth until his own release slammed into him. "You better swallow, boy. Don't you dare spill any of my cum." He growled through his orgasm and as the last shiver of pleasure rolled through his body he released the hold he had on Jared's hair and stood back. "You're forgiven, but not because you deserve it, but because I'm in a forgiving mode." He stepped over Jared's body and made himself at home on the large bed. "Call down to reception and get them to move my bags up here and make sure when they bring it they do it quietly, I'm going to take a nap and I don't want to be disturbed."

Jared wheezed for air, but nodded his head to indicate that he heard Kerr's order. He slowly made it to his feet, went to the bathroom, washed his face and rinsed out his mouth before he made the call to reception. He waited outside of the room for the bell boy to show up, tipped him good and pushed the trolley with Kerr's bags into the room himself. Jared made sure that he worked quietly, but still efficiently. He unpacked all of Kerr's bags, taking great care in hanging up his suits. Only when he was satisfied that Kerr's things were neatly stacked away did he move to the bed. He undressed quickly and lay down next to Kerr, but making sure he kept on his side of the bed. As he closed his eyes, he didn't even try to stop the tear that slipped down his cheek. He deserved this, Kerr was just showing him how pathetic he was, he had to try harder, he had to make Kerr proud of him.

[](http://s792.photobucket.com/user/Dont_hate_me01/media/42821d39-e771-4d55-b851-c0560e286c37_zps39c101a1.jpg.html)

  
Jensen looked at his watch for what must've been the hundredth time and smiled as he saw Richard watching him.

"Did he give you a time?" Richard asked.

Jensen shook his head. "No, but I thought he'd be here already."

"Isn't Kerr coming out here as well?" Richard tried to keep the contempt he felt towards the man out of his voice.

"Yes, his plane should've landed two hours ago." Jensen replied as he once again stole a glance at his watch.

"Maybe they just wanted some time alone." Richard doubted that, he couldn't understand why any person would willingly spend time with Kerr Smith. He knew that just like Jensen, the rest of the Supernatural crew where very concerned about Jared, especially in regard to his relationship with that brute of a man.

Jensen shrugged his shoulders. "Jared did mention that."

"Well, there you go then. Let's leave them at their games and let's enjoy ourselves here." Richard slapped Jensen on the shoulder and at the same time tried to suppress the feeling of dread the he felt in the pit of his stomach. He signaled the waiter and ordered another round of drinks, making sure that Jensen had a full glass in front of him as well.

Jensen could only nod his head. He knew Jared had told him that they wanted to spend time together, but he had seen how his best friend looked like every time he spent _some alone time_ with that fucking ass. He snorted into his drink. He was a real fool and a coward. If he could only scrape the courage together to tell Jared how he felt about him, but he was so scared that Jared would turn him down so he just ignored the feelings within himself and instead flirted around with anyone else who was interested.

Misha watched Jensen take another deep swallow of his drink and sighed. They were all worried about Jared, but they were also worried about Jensen. You had to be blind not to see how head over heels in love those two boys were with one another. Jensen always tried to hide it by chasing after any skirt or pair of jeans that looked his way; he also knew that nine out of ten times Jensen went home alone. He knew that Jared felt the same way; that boy worshipped the ground Jensen walked on. Jensen was the only one who could make Jared take a break between heavy scenes, who could get him to calm down when he got over-excited, who could get him to eat by only lifting an eyebrow in his direction or just shoving a plate in his hands with the word _eat_.

He'd spoken to both Mark Pellegrino and Mark Sheppard. He knew that Clif had spoken to Jim and to Richard. He was also aware of the fact Eric, Robert Singer and Ben Edlund had a meeting in regards to Jared. Everyone was concerned, Jared being the youngest of the group, most of them saw him as their baby brother, but still, no one could do anything. They were all working on suspicions, there were never any signs on Jared's body that they could see that screamed abuse. The marks that were on his body were sustained in stunts or simply explained by Jared as him being clumsy.

He just wished he could let Jared open up and talk to him, to them. He knew that every member of this family would listen and would act immediately if Jared spoke the word. Misha smiled as he saw Richard signaling to the stage. It seemed like they were going to be in for a treat, especially when Richard managed to get Jensen up onto the stage as well.

Jensen was mellowed enough not to object as Richard dragged him to the stage. He didn't get nearly enough time to sit down and spend some quality time with his guitar, especially not with Jason and also Steve on tour so much of the time. He took the guitar offered to him and was even more impressed when someone passed him a bar chair. Looked like his friends knew that although he was still capable of stringing the guitar he would not fare so good in standing on his two feet. Soon the impromptu band was tuning their instruments while Jensen hummed under his breath.

Next to him, Richard was on bass, while both he and Rob had guitars. Mark Sheppard was on the drums. He could hear Rob asking Richard something and Richard laughing hard and the man shook his head. "I don't think Jen's capable of that, not tonight."

"What can't I do?" Jensen asked as he hummed again.

"Nothing much, don't worry." Richard slapped him on the back. "What you're humming there?"

Jensen grinned. _"The Weight."_

Richard shook his head and nodded to Rob, both men picking up the melody quickly. The small crowd of people settled in quickly as the tune drifted through the bar. At the end of the song the bar erupted in cheers. Richard took up a new song and soon they got the group on their feet, all of them having a great time.

Mark called out to Richard and cocked his head to the side. Richard followed his eyes and grinned when he saw Jared standing in the shadows. It was good to see the boy there. His smile turned into a frown as Jared got yanked hard by that _creep_ , Jared called his boyfriend. He could see how Jared's shoulders slumped. They were about to move away when Richard saw how the two men got intercepted by Pellegrino and Misha and moved towards the front of the bar. He could see that Kerr wanted to object, but Misha talked over him, shoved a drink in his hands and gave Jared a hug and a beer.

Only when Misha got Jared settled in, did Richard catch Jensen's attention to show him who showed up. Jensen smiled and his whole body came to life. "Last song, any requests?" Richard shouted and there was no surprise when the crowd called for _Crazy Love_. This time Jensen sang the song with his soul.

Jared looked up from his beer as the Jensen's voice carried through the crowd. He was still a bit on edge with what had happened just an hour before and the way Kerr grabbed him now, but being here, being able to listen to Jensen singing made up for all the hurt that his body was experiencing right now, but the memories just didn't want to let go...

_Jared woke up when he felt Kerr rutting hard against him. He was still trapped in that space between being awake and being asleep, so he did the one thing he should never do. He pushed at the other man and told him to get off. The moment the words left his mouth and the movement next to him stopped, Jared's eyes snapped open. He tried to apologize, but it was too late._

_"Who the fuck do you think you are to tell me, to get off?" Kerr had grabbed him hard by the hair and dragged him from the bed. "You insolent piece of shit. You owe your life to me, I can do with you whatever I want - you belong to me." Kerr kicked out and caught Jared hard on the side of his body._

_"Sorry, I'm sorry, I was asleep, I'm sorry, please, I didn't mean it, please." Jared begged as he tried to curl up in the smallest ball possible._

_"You'll know what being sorry is, when I'm done with you." Kerr screamed out in anger as he dragged Jared back onto the bed and ripped his boxers from Jared's body. Jared didn't have any chance to resist before Kerr was on top of him, forcing his legs opened and thrusting into Jared's tight channel in one movement._

_Jared screamed out in pain, he tried to move to buck Kerr off from him, but the older man knew how to pin him to the bed and Jared found himself unable to move. He tried to relax his body, to get himself to accept Kerr's cock easier, but the pain was too much. The fact that he could feel himself slick up make him aware of the fact that Kerr had managed to rip him open and that the slick he was feeling dripping between his legs was blood. Jared bit hard into his bottom lip, he knew if he kept on screaming, Kerr would make it worse, instead he sagged against the mattress and stayed silently, praying that this torture would end soon. His whole body shook as Kerr kept on thrusting hard in to him, his strokes hard and fast. Kerr made no attempt to hit Jared's prostate - it wasn't about giving pleasure, it was only about taking what belonged to him._

_Kerr could feel his balls contracting hard, his stomach burned with anticipation and with a hard grunt he emptied himself into Jared's tight channel. He was breathing hard as he pulled out and then shivered at the mess. He took Jared's shredded boxers and cleaned himself with that. "I'm going to take a shower, and then we can go and find those friends of yours. I'm sure you'd like to spend some time with them.” He pulled hard on Jared's hair again. "Don't even try to clean yourself up. I want you to feel me between your legs. I want you to feel your blood and my seed leaking from your worthless hole as we stand with your friends and you show them how much you love me." He left without another word, not caring that he left a broken young man on the bed._

_When the water turned on Jared managed to get up from the bed. His whole body was aching, and he wanted nothing more than to step into the hottest shower his body could withstand and wash himself clean, but Kerr would kill him if he defied him on that order. Instead he dressed carefully, not wanting Kerr to find too much fault with his appearance and then waited for Kerr to clean up before he quickly washed his face and the two of them left the room, walking hand in hand - just as what was expected from him to do._

_They took a taxi with no words spoken between them to the club where they knew the rest of the Supernatural family would be. When they arrived the first thing Jared heard was Jensen's voice. His best friend was singing and it made all the pain he'd endured fade away immediately. He'd forgotten about Kerr, but stood in the shadows and watched as Jensen sang, that was until Kerr grabbed hold of him. For one moment he thought that Kerr was going to assault him right there, but then Misha and Mark P were there and Kerr's anger washed away. Never before had Jared felt so grateful towards his friends, but he also knew there'd be punishment later again._

Jared got pulled out of his musings when an arm landed across his shoulders. "Took you long enough to show up here." Jensen smiled.

"Sorry, we got caught up. I didn't realize how much time had passed." Jared tried his best to stay relaxed under Jensen's arm. "I heard you sing, it sounded good. You don't do that too often anymore."

Jensen looked at his friend. He could see the sadness etched into Jared's face. The way Jared was holding himself, told him that his friend was hurt. He could feel his own anger bubbling to the surface. He took a deep breath to calm himself. "We've been too busy, but you're right, I need to sing more." He looked down at the beer in Jared's hands; it was almost full, but no longer ice cold. "What do you say we get you another one, I know how much you hate warm beer."

Jared looked at the beer and then at Jensen's smiling face. "Sound like a plan." He waited until Jensen turned away from him before he moved to get up from the chair. He knew that should Jensen see him getting up, his friend would know that there was something wrong and he would want answers, answers that Jared couldn't give.

Misha made sure to keep Kerr entertained, although he wanted nothing more than to bash the man's head into a pulp against the bar. Instead he kept up the conversation, giving Jared and Jensen time to be together. What bothered him was the way Jared moved. He was sure that Mark P and Mark S, Richard and Rob had picked up on it as well. The tension was high and he knew that Jared just had to make one sound of need and Kerr would be torn apart. They would still be acting on mere suspicions, but he had a feeling that it was more than mere suspicions, that what they thought was the truth - Jared was being abused by Kerr and it had to stop.

"Well, gentlemen, I had a great time, but it's been a long day. I've spend days apart from my lover and I think it's time we made up for some lost time. Good night." Kerr rose and walked to where Jared was seated with Jensen. "Let's go. It's been a long day."

Jared turned slowly and nodded his head. "Sure," he stood up and was grateful for the fact that the few beers he had made his muscles lose and that he had no obvious difficulty getting up. He hugged Jensen hard, he knew he'd been in trouble for that, but he needed the hug. "See you in the morning."

Jensen wanted to scream out in frustration when Kerr told Jared that they should go. The man might have been Jared's boyfriend, but he was for sure not his keeper. He wanted to tell Kerr to fuck off when Jared agreed in a soft voice and stood up. Jensen had no other choice but to get up as well. He hugged his best friend tight as Jared hugged him and then stood back and watched the two men walk off.

"Jay!" Jensen called out.

"Yes," Jared turned and looked at Jensen.

"Jared, I'll always be here for you." Jensen smiled and then turned around to walk away.

Jared's heart pounded with Jensen's words. It was as if something came free within himself and as he walked out with Kerr he came to a decision - one that he should've made years ago. He smiled, as he thought of the words again and realized that everything would be all right.

Kerr frowned as he heard Jensen's words. For a moment he thought that Jared might have told Jensen what had happened, but he knew Jared would never be so stupid and he relaxed again. He wanted to get back to the hotel, he still had to punish Jared for the way he stared at Jensen, it seemed like his _boy_ still hadn't learned his lesson.

[ ](http://s792.photobucket.com/user/Dont_hate_me01/media/art11_zps19ffd028.jpg.html)

**TBC...**


	3. Chapter 3

[ ](http://s792.photobucket.com/user/Dont_hate_me01/media/chap31_zps48359826.jpg.html)

Jared tried to stifle a groan as he gingerly got out of the bed. He didn't need to look down his torso to see the angry red marks left by Kerr's hands on him. The assault started the moment they walked through the door. Jared couldn't do much except to make sure that the marks would not be seen on his forearms, neck and face.

While Kerr still slept Jared managed to take a shower, the semen and blood still stuck to his skin. His lower body ached with pain. He made sure to keep the shower short, but made it as hot as he could stand it, hoping in a way to burn Kerr's marks from his body. He dried himself off in haste and as he stood in front of the fogged up mirror, Jensen's words turned over in his head. _"I'll always be here for you."_

He knew he was in an abuse relationship, he also knew that if he didn't get out of it, there might be a great possibility that he wouldn't make it out alive. He couldn't stop thinking of Jensen, he couldn't stop thinking of his best friend and of the fact that he'd been in love with the other man for almost the same number of years Supernatural had been airing.

Jared tensed up as Kerr moved in behind him. He had no idea what mood Kerr would be in this morning, and he could only hope for the best. It completely caught him off guard, when Kerr leaned in and kissed him gently on the side of his neck. "Morning, babe."

"Morning, Kerr." Jared lowered his head, making sure that Kerr could not see his shocked expression.

"Jared, I need to talk to you," Kerr lapped at Jared's skin and gently ran his hands over Jared's sides. "I was out of line yesterday, and I'm sorry for that. Please forgive me."

Jared nodded numbly. Kerr very rarely apologized. When he did, it was never as sweet and tender as now, it threw Jared totally off balance. He also knew he had to say something before this tender moment turned into something else. "There's nothing to forgiven, Kerr. I was out of line; I'm the one who should ask for forgiveness."

Kerr remained quiet for a long time. "I'm glad you've realized it. I know it won't happen again." He tilted Jared face and kissed him hard. "Enjoy your day, I have a few things to do here in the city, I won't make the breakfast, but I'll be in time for your Q and A with the fans." He kissed Jared again and then stepped into the shower shutting Jared out.

Jared stood quietly for a few moments before he managed to get his body to move. He dressed quietly and was glad for the cold weather they were experiencing, making it easier for him to cover up any marks that might be visible on his body. He waited patiently for Kerr to step out of the bathroom before he kissed him goodbye and made his way down to the green room where he would meet up with Jensen. He knew he was most likely to find the rest of the gang there as well and he wasn't disappointed.

Even before he could open the door he could hear Jensen's voice mixed up with Misha's and Richard's. It was the other two voices that nearly took his breath away. He knew that there was supposed to be a surprise for the fans, arranged by the organizers, but if this was the surprise then the fans would be blown out of the water. Where he first wanted to enter the room with a false smile he now no longer could keep the smile of his face as he opened the door.

Everyone turned around when the door opened and a hushed silence fell over the room. "JD," Jared's voice sounded faint and even before he could think of it his feet moved forward and he hugged his TV father hard. He'd missed this man, and even though there were some hard works spoken between them Jared knew that Jeff loved him just as he loved Jeff. He had to take a deep breath before breaking contact with the older man. He still couldn't believe the time that had went by where they didn't talk to one another. Jared knew it was his fault, he could only hope to put it right now. "Wow, what a surprise." He grinned from ear to ear.

"It is indeed." Jeff smiled and patted Jared on his back. He hated the haunted look that shadowed Jared's eyes. He could see what Jensen was saying, the younger man had lost a lot of weight and on his tall stature it was very easy to note. He couldn't help but wonder what the fangirls thought of that.

Jared smiled again and then turned his attention to the other surprise in the room. "I thought you hate coming to these things, Jim?"

"I do, but I also couldn't give up this opportunity to meet up with all of you for a change." Jim hugged Jared hard. He didn't speak of the fact that this was sort of planned.

"This is great; we can catch up this evening, right?" Jared's eyes pleaded.

"Yes, boy, we can catch up this evening." Jim let go of Jared's shoulder and moved towards Misha and Richard. Jensen was chatting to Jeffrey.

Jared smiled as he took the mug of coffee offered to him by one of the PA's. "Thanks”, he smiled softly and took a sip, only to whimper in anguish as the coffee burned the inside of his mouth. He'd forgotten that he'd bit the inside of his cheek last night to keep himself from screaming out loud and now the injury made itself known with the hot coffee.

"You all right, Jay?" Jensen frowned as he heard Jared's whimper in pain. Already he was moving to his side.

Jared nodded his head. "I'm fine, just managed to bite my own cheek last night and the hot coffee all over that sensitive spot was not a good idea."

Jeff frowned. He'd bitten the inside of his cheek before and drank some hot coffee the following morning, it never bothered him. It frightened him to think how hard Jared had to have bitten himself to feel the effect of it the following morning. There was no way that when he bit himself it was an accident. Jeff shuddered. It made him think of their parting words, words that caused a rift between them, words he still believed in...

_"He doesn't love you, Jared. You need to get out of that relationship. It's not good for you."_

_Jared huffed. "What are you talking about, of course Kerr loves me. Why are you saying this, Jeff?"_

_"Because it's the truth. I've seen the way you carry yourself, the way you walk. He's leaving you with bruises on your body and you cannot call it love-bites, or hickeys."_

_"You don't know what you're talking about!! Why are you saying this, Jeff? What has Kerr done to you for you to be so rude towards him, in fact what have I done to you, Jeff?"_

_"You've done nothing Jared, but I've seen my share of abusive relationships and I know you're trapped in one, please let me help you. Let your friends help you to get out of it, you don't need to be stuck in it. You can get out."_

_Jared shook his head. "I don't know what you're talking about, Jeff. In fact I don't want to talk to you anymore." He took a deep breath. "I never want to talk to you again." His shoulders sagged as he turned around and walked away._

_"Don't let it become too late, Jared." Jeff sighed, he'd just lost a friend, but he just had to voice his concerns. He could now only hope that Jared would get out as soon as possible._

It was also the last time that they spoke to one another. Jared refused to answer any of his calls. Jeffrey was brought out of his musings when Jensen spoke up next to him. "It will be all right."

Jeff cocked his eyebrow. "How can you be so sure?"

"I just am." Jensen grinned. "It's so good to have you here."

"It's good to be here." Jeff grinned back. "I think it's time for you and Jared to go out there and woo the girls, we'll catch up with you at the Q and A."

Jensen snorted. "You spend too much time with Jim, man. Wooing the girls? Really?" Jensen laughed, hugged Jeffrey again and grabbed Jared around the shoulders. "Let's get this breakfast on the road." He took his third cup of coffee and opened the door, immediately the fans voices could be heard clearly as they yelled in pure ecstasy.

Jared looked back at Jeffrey as if he wanted to say something else, but the older man beat him to it. "It will be all right, Jay. You'll see."

Jared nodded his head and smiled and then followed Jensen into the room with the screaming fans.

[](http://s792.photobucket.com/user/Dont_hate_me01/media/0084612a-abaf-4197-93ed-b3f0976f4a15_zpsbc9376aa.jpg.html)

  
Kerr nodded his head at the official at the door and opened it up quietly. He could hear Jared's voice over the mike when he walked down the hallway on his way to the banquet room the Q and A session was held.

He bristled with anger as he saw how close Jared was seated next to Jensen. He could see their knees touching and he knew that he would make Jared pay for that. He had to ball his hands into fists in an attempt to calm himself and not to storm forward and tear Jared off the stage. He slowed his breathing and listened as Jared answered one or other fucked up question about how wonderful it was to work on Supernatural. Jared's next words had him screaming out in rage even as the fans erupted in glee. He couldn't believe what he heard, but as the fans went on screaming he saw that _bastard_ with his own eyes. Jeffrey _Fucking_ Dean _Fucking_ Morgan, the one prick Kerr thought was out of Jared’s life forever. He wanted to take the nearest screaming girl and slam her head through the wall in anger. Instead he found himself unable to move as he watched how Jeff first hugged Jensen and then Jared.

It took a while for the crowd to calm down before either of the actors on stage could be heard again. He could see Jared's lips move and he could hear the crowd laugh and saw how Jeff hugged Jared again and then he had to get out of there. He didn't even look where he was going, just shoved a small girl out of his way and didn't even care to apologize as she burst into tears. He just kept on walking.

When he reached Jared's room he gave into his rage. He started to swipe everything off from the furniture, bowls and vases crashed to the ground, but he did not notice. He would make Jared pay. He hated Jeffrey and he would make sure Jared knew just how much. Slowly he started to calm down as he observed the damaged he caused in the room. He shrugged his shoulders; Jared would just have to pay for it. He then sat down, took out his phone and sent a text to Jared and then he waited.

[ ](http://s792.photobucket.com/user/Dont_hate_me01/media/496a7bbc-c3e0-4b37-bd7e-b9c1e1f86444_zpse75e03b2.jpg.html)

  
Jared couldn't remember the last time he had so much fun at a Q and A session with the fans. The fact that they shared the stage with Jim and Jeff made it even more special. All too soon their allotted time ended and it was time to move on. They had a busy afternoon left, with photo ops, together and separately and then handing out autographs before they could get together for a quiet evening without the fans. He'd felt his phone vibrate in his pocket, but he didn't have the time to check who was looking for him. He did however look out for Kerr, but as the day went on and the other man didn't show up, Jared started to enjoy it more, until he totally forgot about the other man.

The only time when he thought of Kerr was when he asked one of the PA's to bring him some Tylenol. His body was aching badly and he had some difficulties breathing with the bruises that decorated his ribs.

He saw Jensen's eye lifting when he swallowed down the pills and he placed a hand to his head to indicate that he had a headache. He sighed when Jensen seemed to believe the explanation. He did however not see the look of concern that crossed over Jeff's face when he swallowed down the medication.

"He's been hurting since Friday night." Richard's voice sounded next to Jeff's ear.

"Let me guess, after Kerr showed up." Jeffrey replied.

"Yes."

Jeffrey growled. "It can't go on like this."

"We know, but we can't do anything, not unless Jared takes the first step." Richard sighed. He'd been keeping an eye on the younger man the whole day and saw with how much difficulty he moved.

"Did Jensen say if he was going to talk to him?" Jeffrey asked.

"He indicated that he wanted too, but when, I don't know."

"Mm, have you seen the scumbag here?" Jeffrey had been keeping an eye out for Kerr the whole time, but had not seen him yet.

Richard shook his head. "I did however overhear Clif saying that he saw him earlier on during the Q and A session but that he then left. No one has seen him since."

Jeffrey nodded his head. He could only hope that the man would stay away. He looked up as the two stars of the show made their way over to them. He smiled.

"You coming with us to dinner, Jeff?" Jared asked.

"Wasn't planning on missing it for the world, Jay."

Jared smiled. "That's good. I just want to go and change into something different; I'll meet you all at the reception in about forty five minutes?"

Jensen snorted. "You sure that's enough time to do your hair, princess?"

Jared laughed and shook his head. "You're just jealous." He dragged his hands through his hair and laughed again. "See you in a bit." He grinned and then took off, leaving a bunch of worried friends behind.

[ ](http://s792.photobucket.com/user/Dont_hate_me01/media/42821d39-e771-4d55-b851-c0560e286c37_zps39c101a1.jpg.html)

  
"Where the fuck have you been!" Kerr shouted as he shoved Jared hard against the wall. He didn't even bother with the fact that the door didn't close properly behind the younger man.

Jared grunted out in pain. "What?" He sounded confused.

"Don't you _what_ me, boy." Kerr snarled. "I've sent you a text message, telling you to come here as soon as you were done, did you even bother to look at it!" He kept on shouting in Jared's face.

Jared shook his head. "I'm sorry; I was so busy that I didn't check my phone. I'm sorry, Kerr."

"Sorry? Sorry? You're always fucking sorry. Sorry doesn't cut it anymore, Jared. Sorry isn't good enough!" He drew back his right hand and punched Jared in the face. He no longer cared if he left marks on Jared's face or not. He hit Jared again, holding him against the wall with his other arm.

Jared tried to move away, but Kerr had him pinned properly. His body screamed out in pain and the hits that he took to the face made him dizzy. He could taste the blood as it pooled in his mouth. He felt himself flung to the side as Kerr pulled and then pushed him away from the wall. He found himself looking in Kerr's eyes and saw only hate. In that moment Jared knew that he was going to die and he gave up.

Kerr kept on hitting him. The blows rained down on his face and his body and as he sank to his knees he got kicked over and over. He felt the moment one of his ribs fractured in his side. Things became hazy until he heard Jeffrey's words in his head. _"Don't let it become too late, Jared."_ Jensen's voice sounded up as well. _"I'll always be here for you."_ Something snapped and Jared reached out blindly as the next kick was aimed at him. He caught Kerr's foot and yanked it hard, making Kerr lose his balance and the other man tumbled over.

"No! Not any more, no." He managed to come to his feet. Blood dripped from the numerous injuries that decorated his face. He could hardly breathe and spots of darkness threatened to take over his vision completely, but he knew he had to push on; he couldn't let Kerr assault - abuse him again.

Kerr was surprised when he found himself on his back, for a moment he couldn't believe what had happened and what surprised him more was when Jared managed to get to his feet and tower over him. For the first time in all the years he became afraid of the younger man.

"No more." Jared grunted out as he lifted Kerr by his shirt from the floor and let his fist make contact with Kerr's face for the first time. He didn't stop, but kept on hitting and hitting Kerr over and over. He didn't hear the man that tormented him for so long beg for mercy. He didn't even hear as other people entered the room. He only started to fight them when strong arms surrounded his waist and pulled him from the figure that lay on the floor. "Let me go, leave me. Leave me!!" He kept on shouting until the darkness that threatened him before came and claimed him, this time for real.

[ ](http://s792.photobucket.com/user/Dont_hate_me01/media/0084612a-abaf-4197-93ed-b3f0976f4a15_zpsbc9376aa.jpg.html)

  
"How long can he take?" Jensen looked at his watch. They'd been waiting for Jared for almost an hour already.

Misha was about to answer when two fangirls walked passed and their words drained the color from the actors' faces.

_"Did you see that? I mean, do you think it's real or where they shooting a movie in there?"_

_"I don't know, I didn't see any extras hanging around or any of the filming crew, but it couldn't be real, could it? I mean, Jared would've fought back, he wouldn't let someone beat him like that in real life?"_

"Clif, call 911," Jensen yelled over his shoulder as he made his way to the stairs. He didn't wait for any of the others, but started running up the flights of stairs to get to Jared's room. He didn't know what had happened, but he could only hope that he would be in time. This time he was ready to rip Kerr apart limb for limb.

Jensen rushed through the half open door and came to a halt at the scene in front of him. Kerr was on the floor, his arms over his face as he tried to block Jared's hits, but he was having little success as Jared's fists found his flesh, leaving him with bloodied bruises. There was an expression on Jared's face that Jensen had never seen before and it scared him. It was as if Jared was no longer there and that the man hitting Kerr was just a robot, going through the motions.

"Jared, you need to stop. He had enough." Jensen found himself saying, although he wanted nothing more than for Jared to go on. He knew Jared wouldn't be able to live with his conscious if he caused Kerr's death. He was aware of the fact that the rest of their friends have also arrived at the room, but he shut them out. "Come on, Jay, you need to stop."

"He's not going to stop," Misha's voice sounded next to Jensen.

Jensen knew it was the truth. He nodded his head and then stepped in behind Jared and started to pull him from Kerr's body. He grunted in surprise as Jared's elbow found his midriff, forcing the air from his body. He took a staggering breath, but didn't let go of Jared as he pulled him further away. Jared kept on fighting with him and his heart ached as his friend begged him to let him go. He managed to get Jared pinned on the bed and his heart ached when Jared screamed again and then went limp. For a moment Jensen's heart refused to beat until he saw Jared's chest rising and realized that his friend had just passed out. He was grateful for Jeff's help as they managed to move Jared onto the bed in a more comfortable position. Only then did he look back at where Kerr was still laying on the floor.

"Will he make it?"

"Unfortunately, yes." It was Misha that answered and then delivered a swift kick to the man's side. "Oops, I tripped."

No one else said a word on Misha tripping, although they all wished they could trip as well.

"Police and paramedics are on their way up." Clif reported before he closed the door to the room again to keep the crowd that had gathered outside the room away.

Jensen cradled Jared to his chest while he tried to stop the bleeding from a nasty cut on Jared's head. He didn't say a word, except to whisper softly to Jared.

"I'll handle the police." Jeff spoke up. He looked at Jensen and then at Misha. "Make sure that the police take photos of all the injuries on Jared's body." He took a deep breath. "Misha, let them conduct a rape test as well." He placed a comforting hand on Jensen's shoulder. "He'll be all right, but it needs to be done."

Jensen nodded his head and pulled Jared closer to him. Jared's shirt had shifted upwards and he'd already seen some of the bruises that covered Jared's body. He knew that Jeff's fears could be true and although he wished Jared didn't have to go through something as degrading as a rape test, he knew that Jeff was right, it had to be done.

**TBC...**


	4. Chapter 4

**Three Months Later**

[ ](http://s792.photobucket.com/user/Dont_hate_me01/media/chap41_zps3a81a5f7.jpg.html)

Jensen watched as Jared stood by Jeff's side and he saw the two men laughing. He still couldn't believe that it was the same man as three months ago. He shivered as his thoughts got pulled back into time...

_"Can we see him, doc?" Jensen asked as the doctor finished explaining to them what injuries Jared had sustained during the assault. He was also still trying to get over the fact that he was Jared's Emergency Contact, they were all under the impression that it would be Kerr and was ready to fight to get the information on Jared's condition revealed to them._

_The doctor nodded her head. "He's been settled into his room. He's still sedated, but I don't see any problem if you visited him. Just don't wake him, his body needs all the rest it can get._

_Jensen nodded his head and silently the group made their way up to Jared's room. Jensen had to bite hard down on his fist as he first caught sight of the state of Jared. The younger man's face was one massive bruise. Both his eyes were swollen shot. His left cheekbone was stitched up and his nose was broken. He suffered from a grade two concussion, and Jensen also knew that he had three broken ribs on the right side and two severely bruised ones on the left. Three of his fingers on his left hand were broken and the whole hand was in a cast. His right hand was in tatters, but either it being a miracle or just plain luck, nothing was broken. The doctor was worried about his kidneys due to the punishment Kerr dealt out on his lower back. Jared's back was a mass of colors, a chameleon would get confused. Even his legs didn't escape the brutal attack, large bruises decorated his legs, from the top of his thighs to his shins._

"He's looking better," Mark Sheppard spoke up next to Jensen, bringing his mind back to the present.

Jensen smiled at the other man. "He is," he shrugged his shoulders. "Don't get me wrong, he still has his bad days, and when one of those come by he's out of it."

Both men smiled as Jared laughed out loud. Mark turned to Jensen. "Have you told him, yet?"

Jensen blushed. "No, it's too early. He's still dealing with all of the other shit."

Mark sighed. "It's never too early, Jen. Don't you think he needs to hear those words? Don't you think he deserves to know that you love him?"

"Damnit, Mark." Jensen groaned out of frustration. "Don't you think I want to tell him? I want to hold him in my arms twenty-four seven and never want to let him go. But I don't want him to think that I'm telling him that I love him, because I feel sorry for him."

Mark cocked his head. "Do you for one second think that's the way Jared would see this, Jen? That young man has the world's faith in you, he loves you with his heart and soul and I can promise you that if you told him that you loved him he would accept it as is, because he believes in you, not because he believes that you pity him."

"What about the paparazzi?" Jensen's voice sounded hard.

Mark snorted. "I think you'll be amazed of how supportive they'll be towards the two of you once word got out that you're involved with one another. Just look at what happened with Jared and that asshole. Of all the tabloids, magazines or newspapers there were about three, if there were so many, that painted Kerr as the victim. The others all stuck to the truth." Mark shrugged his shoulders, "well, more or less with the truth."

Jensen sighed. "The bastard's sentencing hearing is next week." He turned and looked at Jared. "He wants to attend."

Mark nodded his head. "He knows what the sentence is going to be; maybe he just wants to hear it with his own ears." He shrugged his shoulders. "What does his psychiatrist say?"

"That it might be a good idea, as it will bring closure to that particular chapter in his life."

"What do you say about it?"

"It's a bad idea. He'll get hurt again. He's only starting to sleep through the nights now for the last week and a half. I don't want him to go through all of that pain again."

Mark smirked, even though they were still serious. "So, you're sharing a bed?"

Jensen shook his head, but at least smiled a bit. "It's not like that. He actually manages to get some sleep when he's not alone, that's all."

This time Mark only nodded his head. "He's stronger than you think, Jensen. In fact he's stronger than what anyone of us thinks."

"Then what about what happened two weeks ago?" Jensen ran his hand tiredly over his face as he thought back...

_"Jay?" Jensen asked as he pushed open the trailer door and looked inside. "Can I come in, buddy?" He asked as he pushed the door open. When he received no answer he stepped into the trailer and what he saw made his heart nearly stop in his chest. Jared was curled up in a corner, his face hidden behind his large hands as his whole body shuddered with sobs._

_"Jared?" Jensen asked again as he slowly made his way over to where Jared was huddled in the corner. When he saw that Jared did not try to get away from him, he made himself comfortable across from the bigger man. "Can you tell me what's wrong?"_

_Jared didn't reply, his shoulders just kept on shaking as he cried._

_"Please, Jay. Let me help you, tell me what's wrong." Jensen pleaded again. It was then that his eye caught the script that was lying next to Jared's arm. It was Season 5 - the finale. And Jensen groaned. He now perfectly understood why Jared was so freaked out. He took the script and tossed it away before he pulled Jared out of his small hiding space and pulled him into his embrace, holding him tight. "Jim phoned, the writers are waiting for us to call and say how we want to chance that. They understand that it's going to be hard on you and they want to help in any way they can."_

_Jared shook his head. "I'm supposed to be able to do my job. The writers aren't supposed to change things around just because I'm a coward."_

_Jensen wanted to shake Jared hard, but instead he hugged him harder. "You're not a coward, Jay. You've been through a tremendous ordeal and to read something like that, will trigger memories. You've got nothing to be ashamed off."_

_Jared turned his body so that his head rested on Jensen's heart. "I thought I'd be able to do it, but just reading the words, knowing that they want Sam-Lucifer-to hit Dean like that," he swallowed hard. "I can't, I really can't."_

_Jensen hugged Jared close. "It doesn't matter, Jared. It's your choice and no one is going to think less of you when you say that you can't."_

_"You won't think of me as a failure?"_

_Jensen shook his head. "A failure? Never. You're the strongest person I know, you're a survivor."_ He hugged Jared close and together the two friends sat until it became late. </i>

"You're referring to the script incident?" Mark sighed. "What person would not have had a bad reaction to a script like that? I mean, it's one trigger after another that reminded him of what happened between him and that asshole. From what I heard you handled that situation extremely well."

Jensen snorted. "It didn't stop the nightmares to come back with a vengeance."

"Don't sell yourself short, Jensen. Can you think how bad off he would've been if you weren't there at all? I can tell you, our boy wouldn't have coped nearly as well as he's doing now without you being present." Marked grinned. "Jeff here also helped a lot, but I also think you should tell him that you love him. That will give him the ultimate hope." Marked looked at Jensen. "Don't let him think you don't love him, Jen. Tell him. I can promise you the whole Supernatural family would stand behind you. It will give him that last piece of strength that he needs to finally put Kerr out of his mind."

Jensen nodded his head. "You're right, I need to tell him. He deserves to know." He looked on as Jared laughed again and couldn't help but to smile. There was nothing better in the world than to hear Jared laugh, without any fear in his voice. Mark was also right on one other aspect. The fact that Jeffrey was there with them helped more than what Jensen could ever put into words...

_Jared had withdrawn into himself days after the attack. When he first woke up he was confused and in a lot of pain. The doctors kept the police at bay for the first three days, but after that many days even they couldn't keep the detectives away from Jared._

_Jared refused talk to anyone about what happened. He refused to lay charges against Kerr, even after the police detectives informed them that Kerr was pressing charges against Jared for assault and battery. Jeffrey took the detective to the side, spoke to him in hushed tones and then proceeded to kick everyone out of the room, except for Jensen._

_Jeffrey had closed the door behind their friends and headed to the bed where Jared was once again curled up as far as his broken ribs would allow, onto his side. He took the empty chair next to Jared's head and placed his hand on Jared's that was curled in a fist. "Jared, look at me." He waited patiently until Jared lifted his eyes to meet Jeffrey's gaze. Jeffrey smiled, "you should patent those puppy dog eyes of yours my friend."_

_Jensen smiled when he saw Jared rolling his eyes at Jeffrey's comment. He was seated on the bed with Jared and moved closer, happy to note that Jared also shifted closer to his side._

_Jeffrey cleared his throat. "The last time we spoke, some angry words were said by both of us. Words that in a certain way I regret, but at the same time I'm glad that I told them to you, because you got out. You took the first step, and you said no. But you can't give up now. By not doing anything else, by letting him lay charges against you, Jared, that's making him win again. You can't let him win now. Give your statement to the police; let us use the photos taken by the medical personnel when you were brought in. It's not going to be easy, but after what you've been through - this, this is going to be much easier."_

_Jared remained quiet for a very long time. If it wasn't for the fact that Jensen could see that his eyes were still open, he would've thought his friend was sleeping again - something that didn't happen too often._

_When Jared did spoke up, his voice was filled with fear. "What if they don't believe me, what if they find that I deserved it? What if they say it's what I wanted?" His body shivered hard._

_Jeffrey lifted Jared's chin so that he could look the younger man in the eyes. "Did you deserve it?"_

_Jared shook his head._

_"Did you ask for it, or want it?" Jeffrey asked the second question._

_"No," he shook his head hard. "I didn't want it, I didn't ask for it."_

_Jeffrey nodded his head. "You're right, you didn't deserve it and you didn't ask for it. What Kerr did was wrong. You where caught in a violent and abusive relationship, but you got out and you survived." Jeffrey sighed deeply. "You're not alone, Jared. You've got all of us right here with you, we'll be at your side every step of the way."_

_Jared's cheeks where wet with tears, but he used his hand to dry them up, took a deep breath and smiled softly. "I'll talk to the police."_

It was also Jeffrey who came to them after Jared had spoken to the police and with the assistant DA about Kerr's case...

_"I'm proud of you boy," Jeffrey said as he hugged Jared close. He took a seat next to Jared and then cleared his throat. "I've got something to discuss with you boys. I want you to listen carefully and then, Jared I want you to decide if you want to do it this way or not. Whatever your decision is, I will respect it. I know Jensen will respect it and I know that everyone that loves you and that cares for you will respect it as well."_

_He looked at both Jensen and Jared and only continued when both the men nodded their heads. "There are certain things that I can't tell you, which I need you to trust me on, but what I can tell you and what you must've thought about as well is the following. Kerr is well connected. He’s got one of the best defense teams available." He lifted Jared's chin with his hand. "The fact that you never spoke up before, never made any noise of him doing anything to you or anything like that is going to make it almost impossible for the prosecution to hook him with domestic violence. If the prosecution showed him photos of bruises on your body, his argument would be a simple one. You're an actor, you do your own stunts and it's more than likely possible that you sustained those bruise during filming."_

_Jared started to shake his head, and Jeffrey held him close. "I know it's not true, but to convince a jury otherwise will not be easy." He looked over at Jensen before he continued. "The prosecution will also have difficulty in getting a conviction on attempted murder, due to the fact that he can say it was a simple argument between the two of you that got out of hand. The fact that you got some good shots in as well will strengthen his case."_

_"So the fact that Jared fought back to defend himself, means nothing?" Jensen was beside himself with rage._

_"No, Jensen. That's not what I'm saying, but with the injuries he sustained, no jury will believe that he tried to kill Jared, doesn't matter how Jared looked like afterwards." Jeffrey explained patiently._

_Jared sighed, nodded his head but didn't respond._

_"There's more, correct?" Jensen asked filled with trepidation._

_Jeffrey nodded his head. "Yes. I know we made sure to take photos of Jared after the attack. That a rape kit was done and that DNA samples were collected, but once again due to the fact that there's no history of any sexual assault against him and that he can say that Jared liked to play rough, would once again make it difficult for the prosecution to bring a strong case to the jury.”_

_Jensen growled in anger and pulled a trembling Jared hard against him. "So what are you saying, you want Jared to drop all the charges and just let that piece of shit walk free?"_

_This time Jeffrey shook his head. "No, that's not what I want, and that's not what I'm saying." He dragged his hand through his hair. "I've got some leverage on Kerr that I can use; it will weaken his position considerably." He held up his hand as Jensen wanted to interrupt him. "I'm not going to disclose to you what this information is. It's not because I don't want to, but because it doesn't belong to me. I can only use it to help you and do nothing else with it. As soon as this goes to trial, I will no longer be able to use the information against him. With this information we can get a plea out of Kerr that would make sure he disappears out of your life for a long period of time and hopefully when he gets out, he will keep out of your life."_

_Jensen snorted, "What kind of a deal. A slap on the wrist?"_

_"No, he will sit for a while. Not as long as he deserves, but a hell of a lot longer if we tried to take this to trial." He looked at Jared again. "He can plead guilty to Aggravated Criminal Sexual Assault, where we say he caused great bodily harm to you. The normal sentence for such an offence, ranges from six years to thirty years and a fine of up to $25 000. If we go to trial there's a chance that he might be acquitted, he might be sent to jail for about a year and most of all, Jared, you'll have to testify. You'll have to tell the whole nation what happened to you and you'd be subjected to hours, even days of cross examination. I know you're strong, but I don't want you to go through something like that."_

_Jared remained quiet for a long time. "What will he serve?"_

_"Five years. He will only come into consideration to be released earlier on good behavior after he served four years. He will be registered as a sexual offender and he has to undergo mandatory tests for sexually transmitted diseases. He will also serve his imprisonment at a medium state prison."_

_Jared looked at Jensen before he turned his attention back to the man in front of him. "Will he take the deal?"_

_"I'm almost a hundred percent sure that he will." Jeffrey answered truthfully._

_"Okay, let's do it." He looked down at his hands. "But I want to be present when the sentence is handed down._

_Jeffrey nodded his head. "If that is what you want to do, we can do it like that." He smiled and gave both the guys a hug. "I'll let you know when he accepts." With that he stood up and left the room._

Jensen sighed. Jeffrey came back to them two days later and was with them when the assistant DA phoned and told them that Kerr accepted a plea. Jensen was the one who held Jared as they younger man cried for the first time since the incident.

[ ](http://s792.photobucket.com/user/Dont_hate_me01/media/a5882fbf-0165-493f-9b31-c63a20277b0e_zps34c1e593.jpg.html)

  
"What's wrong, Jensen?" Jared asked as he pulled the long sleeved t-shirt over his head to cover up the marks that were still visible. Everyone have assured him that you had to look very closely at the marks to notice them, but Jared couldn't help but see them each and every time he looked down his own body. He could also see that Jensen was tense about something.

Jensen smiled as he heard the concern in Jared's voice. "Nothing, Jay." He smiled again. "You want to watch a movie before we head to bed?"

Jared yawned and then nodded his head. He was dead on his feet, they were busy with the last scenes of the season - the season dragged on much longer as they waited for Jared to recuperate. The hours were long and after nine months of almost continuous shooting, everyone was a bit tense and wanted it all come to an end. But, he also knew that should he go to bed he would only be laying awake tossing and turning; it was better to fall asleep next to Jensen on the couch and then in a semi state of sleep crawl into bed.

Jensen snorted. "You're not even going to see the opening credits before you fall asleep. Admit it; you just like using me as a pillow."

Jared flustered. "I'm sorry; I didn't mean to, I'll go to bed." He looked frightened.

"Jay, wait." Jensen took Jared's hand and pulled the younger man to him onto the couch. "I was only joking, Jay. I don't mind." He wanted to scream at the world for this injustice done against Jared.

"It's all right, I'm really tired anyway, I don't think I'll even be able to keep my eyes open long enough to find my pillow." Jared tried to smile, but the smile never reached his eyes.

"Jay, stop." Jensen pulled Jared so that the larger man was nearly seated in his lap. "You know I don't mind if we sit here and watch movies and you fall asleep against me." Jensen blushed and cleared his throat. "I like it when you sleep against me."

Jared wanted to object, until he heard Jensen's word. _"I like it when you sleep against me."_ He looked at his best friend and saw the truth in his eyes. "You're serious."

"I've never been more serious in my life before than about this." Jensen hugged Jared close. "I need to make a confession." He held up hand when Jared wanted to interrupt. "Let me finish this, before I get cold feet again." He smiled softly, pulled Jared closer and made sure Jared was nestled against his heart before he continued. "We've been friends for five years, almost six," he started off. "You've seen me on some of the worst days of my life and still you stayed my friend." He smiled when Jared rolled his eyes at him. "But, there's more." He took a deep breath and then sighed. "I've practiced this as we do lines, I've mapped it all out, but now I've got no idea where to start."

Jared took Jensen's hand in his. "You always tell me to start at the beginning. Maybe you should try that as well."

Jensen had to grin. "You're right, but this time the beginning is filled with stupid mistakes, lost opportunities and chances that I never took. Let me start at the end this time, and then we call it the beginning."

Jared looked at Jensen through his long bangs. "If it will work for you, then do it that way."

Jensen took another deep breath. "I love you, Jay."

Jared looked at his best friend as he waited for the words to sink in. Never before had he heard those words and it had a huge impact on him. He didn't know what to do, how to feel, how to react. Instead he found himself staring at Jensen as if his friend had grown a second head.

"Jay?" Jensen sounded scared. "Say something." He turned so that he could look Jared in the eyes. "Shit, I know this was a bad idea, I'm sorry. Please, just forget what I told you know. I'm sorry."

Jared shook his head slowly. "You love me, like in really love me?" He blushed, even to his own ears that sounded stupid. He couldn't help but wonder for a second if Jensen's going to strike out at him verbally for using such silly language.

Jensen smiled softly. "I love you, like really love you." He shook his head when Jared wanted to say something. "I've been stupid to ignore my feelings towards you. You where in a steady relationship, even if it wasn’t the most healthy one, and I was flirting with everything that was wearing a skirt, or a tie and thought it was better just to be your friend. But it's not. I don't want to be just your friend. I want to be more than that. I want to be your best friend, your lover, your partner."

"Why?" Was the first question Jared could think of and then shook his head.

"Why? Why do I love you?" Jensen asked as he kept Jared close to him. He could sense that the younger man was becoming nervous and that he wanted to bolt and run away.

"Why me?" Jared's voice sounded soft.

"Because of whom you are, Jared. You're funny, but you're also serious and wicked smart. You know how to smile, but you also know how to cry and let go. You know how to talk to people, not to only listen to them, but also to understand them. You would rather go hungry than see someone else not having something to eat. You are light in the darkness, you are true."

Jared shook his head. "You're wrong, I'm none of those things, and I will never be any of those things."

Jensen squeezed Jared in his embrace. "I'm not wrong. I've never been so right in life about something, than about this." Jensen sighed. "You see the good in everyone, it doesn't matter how they've treated you, how they looked down on you, you see something in that person that is a good aspect, that is what's making you unique."

Jared remained quiet, and although Jensen didn't even want to mention _that man's name_ he knew it was the only way to bring his point across. "Name two positive things of Kerr." He could feel how tense Jared became in his arms and Jensen let his hand slide up and down Jared's chest in an attempt to keep him calm.

"He taught himself how to play the piano and he loves dogs." Jared blurted the information out.

"And that's what I mean. You didn't even have to think about it, you knew it by heart, because you made it your duty to know good things of people. He doesn't even deserve for you to know his name, but not only do you know his name, you can still say something positive about him."

"It's not the same. I've been in a relationship with him for years, I'm supposed to know those things." Jared tried to argue.

"You've been in an abusive relationship for years, and yet you can remember that he loves dogs and that he can play the piano. It makes you unique." Jensen took a chance and leaned in, kissing Jared softly on the mouth and then gingerly pulled back. "I wanted to do that for so long."

Jared blushed. "I'm glad you did." He couldn't voice the fact that he loved Jensen as well, it was still too early and he had a lot of healing still to do.

Jensen could see that Jared was uncomfortable. He knew he took a chance and he was glad it pulled off, but there was also no way he was going to take this any further, not without the go ahead from Jared. "Is it okay if we kissed some more," he shook his head. "Not right now, I don't want to put any pressure on you, but maybe later again?"

Jared smiled. "I would love for you to kiss me again. But," he looked at Jensen, hoping that Jensen would not be angry with him. "Can we take it slow, please?"

Jensen smiled in return. "We can take it as slow as if you want to, Jay. I'm not going to force you into anything. If you want to go on kissing me only once a day, then I can live with that. I know you're still hurting and you need time to recover. I'm not going to put any pressure on you. We're doing this at your pace."

"Thank you," Jared answered sincerely and then leaned back against Jensen's chest. “So, what about that movie? I need to use my pillow."

Jensen grinned, pulled Jared closer so that the younger man was comfortable against him and then he hit play on the remote, settling down to watch the movie, while Jared drifted off to sleep.

[ ](http://s792.photobucket.com/user/Dont_hate_me01/media/496a7bbc-c3e0-4b37-bd7e-b9c1e1f86444_zpse75e03b2.jpg.html)

**5 Days Later: Central Court House**

Jared looked around him. He was surrounded by friends and family who came to support him. Jensen was seated to his right and Jeffrey to his left and Clif directly behind him. The rest of the Supernatural family where seated in the rows behind him. The first row of the public gallery in front of him was empty. He was happy to note that the media gallery stayed empty.

The prosecution team was to his right and the defendant to his left. The jury box that stood empty was also to his right and the judge's bench was right in front with the small witness stand to the right of that.

It all seemed so surreal. When the prosecutor came in she smiled at him briefly, but took no further note of Jared or of anyone else in the court room. He sat frozen as Kerr stepped into the room, but the hand that gripped his thigh reminded him that he was safe. He was happy that Kerr did not look in his direction at all.

The Judge came in last and when they were all seated again things where over in a flash. Jared couldn't even recall what was said. He heard the Judge read out the sentence that was agreed on by the parties. He had asked Kerr's attorney if everything was in order and that was that. Within five minutes Kerr was lead out and the court adjourned. Jared stayed seated, stunned and for a moment he had no idea what to say or what to do.

"Jay?" Jensen took Jared's face between his hands and lifted it to look the young man seated next to him in the eyes. "Jared?" He started to sound concerned as he couldn't get Jared to focus on him. "Come on, Jared, look at me, it's over and done. Let's get out of here." He slipped his hand behind Jared's neck and pulled Jared closer so that their foreheads touched against one another. "You're all right, buddy. Everything is fine. Come back to me, I'm right here."

"Jensen?" Jared asked a bit dazed.

"Yes, buddy. I'm here. Let's get out of here." He helped Jared to his feet and then guided Jared out to where the rest of the team where already standing outside. He shook his head as they wanted to get closer and he was grateful when Clif helped to get Jared out of the court building and into their waiting car quickly.

"Home?" Clif asked as he looked in the rearview mirror.

Jensen nodded his head and pulled a still silent Jared to his side. They took the ride in silence and helped Jared to get into the house.

"Want me to phone Doc for him?" Clif asked concerned.

Jensen was about to answer when Jared shook his head. "No, no doctor." He pulled himself deeper into Jensen's embrace and stood waiting for Jensen to move.

"Okay, no doctor." He nodded his thanks to Clif and made sure that the door got locked properly before he guided Jared to the living room. He could hear the dogs barking full of excitement at the back, but decided to leave them there for now. "Let's sit here." He took his seat on the couch and smiled as Jared nearly crawled on top of him as he got comfortable.

"Are you all right?" Jensen asked after minutes of absolute silence.

Jared sighed deeply. "I don't know what to feel. I thought that I would be ecstatically happy and filled with joy, but I don't feel like that. I don't get it. Aren't I'm supposed to jump with joy and smile from ear to ear? Why am I filled with this silence that I have no idea what to do with?"

"You've spend a number of years with him. He started out as a friend and as your lover. You have a history with him that can't be just wiped clean and forgotten about. You also need the time to process all of this; you don't need to show any type of emotion now. It's understandable." Jensen held Jared close.

"You're not angry with me for not wanting to celebrate?"

Jensen shook his head. "I am not angry at you for any reason, Jay. You've been on one hell of a ride and you need to work through this last bit as well, but remember, I'm here for you - always."

Jared smiled. "Thank you." He leaned in and kissed Jensen softly as his hands slide up Jensen's shirt to feel Jensen's skin underneath his palms. "Will you make love to me, please?" He kept his gaze lowered, worried about a possible refusal that may come his way.

Jensen tilted Jared's head up and looked into Jared's hazel eyes. "If that is what you want, then yes."

Jared nodded once again and then took Jensen's hand as the other man moved from the couch and led them to the top floor where their bedroom was.

Jensen reached for the lamp next to the bed when Jared's hand covered him. "Can we leave the light off, please?"

Jensen knew Jared still felt insecure about himself so he nodded and left the lamp off. The light from the hallway made the room shine in a warm yellow glow; still bright enough for the two men to see each other. Jensen reached out and cupped Jared's face with his hands and placed soft butterfly kisses on Jared's brow, moving down slowly until his lips found Jared's. He gently lapped at Jared's mouth and as Jared's lips parted he gently pushed forward, getting his real first taste of Jared. Both men groaned out in pleasure and Jensen deepened the kiss.

Jared found his hands moving up the sides of Jensen's body, his fingers brushed over Jensen's warm flesh. He found Jensen's buttons and as Jensen claimed his mouth in another searing kiss he started to fumble in an attempt to rid Jensen of his shirt. He wanted to groan with frustration as the last button at the top refused to comply with the actions of his hands. His hands stilled as Jensen's hands covered his and then gasped as Jensen ripped the last button off.

"Shirt's are expensive." He whispered against Jensen's mouth, his hands dragged the shirt off from Jensen's shoulders and let it go as Jensen's hands slipped free.

"Can afford another one." Jensen pulled Jared closer, cupping his ass hard with his hands. He loved the way Jared arched against him. Their bodies fitted together as if it was meant to be. "Have been waiting for this so long, promise to make it good for you." He whispered the words against Jared's skin as he moved his hands across Jared's broad back, tracing Jared's spine with the tips of his fingers, feeling the muscles ripple beneath his touch.

Jared felt the heat left behind where Jensen touched his skin. He could feel the fear leave him as he realized that Jensen was not going to hurt him. He could feel himself relax in the smaller man's embrace. Both of their hands reached for each other's trousers at the same time. It made Jared calm down even more when he felt the slight tremble of Jensen's knuckles against his own. They managed to undo buttons and zippers without getting caught up in each other's hands. Jeans silently tumbled to the floor and Jared was glad for Jensen's assistance to step out of them. They landed in an easy mess on top of the huge bed, both on their sides, hands gently teasing flesh that glowed in anticipation.

Jensen turned Jared so that he was lying flat on the bed, before leaning over him and covered the bigger man's body with his own. He pushed down with his hips and hissed as Jared mirrored his move and pushed upwards, their crotches burned with a primal need and Jensen managed to fit his hand between their bodies and into underwear to take Jared's cock in hand. Jared's shaft was thick and he could feel the tip wet with need as he let his thumb glide over the head to make Jared sigh in need. With his other hand he managed to push Jared's boxers down before taking care of his own and then finally he pushed his own leaking shaft against Jared's, creating electric sparks as flesh met hot flesh.

"Need, need." Jared arched upwards; he could feel Jensen's hand around his cock gently stroking him in lazy strokes. His legs spread wider in an attempt to get Jensen closer to him. He could feel their cocks in Jensen's hand, but he needed more. He wanted to feel Jensen's cock inside of him, filling him up until he remembered nothing more than his and Jensen's own names. He gasped for air as Jensen's mouth closed over the tip of his cock. He hadn’t even realized that Jensen had moved down his body and taken him deep. The hand on his hip grounded him to the bed, his own hands grabbing hard onto Jensen's hair, his fingers messaging Jensen's skull to share a bit of the pleasure he was experiencing.

Jared's taste took over all of his senses. Never again would he be able to taste anyone else again. Jensen sucked on the head, relaxed his throat and let Jared's shaft slide down his throat and swallowed. It was with some difficulty that he didn't gag, but he kept Jared's cock deep down his throat, the tip pressing hard against the back and he breathed deeply before slowly moving up again. Jared was babbling above of him. He couldn't distinguish between words, but he didn't care. He was getting Jared where he wanted him, to be relaxed and comfortable with what they were doing. His cock ached for action and Jensen stroked himself a few times, gathered his own pre-cum at the tip, smeared it between his fingers and then searched for that one place on Jared's body that would grant him access to sweet surrender.

Jared felt Jensen's fingers at his hole; they kept on circling around the tiny place, but never really breached him. He made a valiant effort to relax his body and sighed deeply as the first finger breached him in one smooth action. It was wet and it felt so fucking wonderful. His body wanted to contract together at the intrusion, but Jared mentally relaxed himself, kept on telling himself it was Jensen, Jensen that loved him, that was busy making love to him.

Jensen groaned inward as his finger breached Jared for the first time. The heat that surrounded him was scorching and he couldn't wait to bury himself deep within Jared for the first time. He slowly moved forward and backwards until the muscle clamped around him gave way. He knew his own pre-cum would never be enough, not if he didn't want to hurt Jared in any way. He had to get hold of the lube that was kept at the side of the bed. He placed another suckling kiss on the side of Jared's cock and then lifted his head. "Need the lube, baby."

Jared heard Jensen's words, but it took him still a few seconds to realize what Jensen really wanted. He grunted as he stretched out and found the little tube with some difficulty. He handed it to Jensen and locked eyes with the man that meant the world to him.

"You sure about this, Jay?"

"Please," Jared breathed hard and pushed the lube in Jensen's hand. "Please," he begged again.

Jensen saw the trust in Jared's eyes and nodded again. "I'll make it perfect for you."

"Already perfect," Jared managed to get the words out as Jensen's slicked up finger breached him again. This time it was cold, but his internal heat quickly warmed the lube, leaving a pleasant feeling on the inside of his tight channel with Jensen working him open.

Jensen pressed kisses on the inside of Jared's thighs as he worked one finger, two fingers and finally three fingers inside of Jared. He could see that Jared was totally relaxed around his fingers, the little hole closing slowly when he withdrew his fingers before pushing them back again. It felt to him as if his cock was going to self explode if he couldn't bury himself deep within Jared soon, but this wasn't about him, this was about Jared and Jared alone. He would not make his move until he was sure that Jared was ready for him.

Jared's head was swimming with want, with lust, with the thought of being filled by Jensen's cock. His hand found Jensen's head and he dragged Jensen's head up. "I need you, please. Not going to break, I may implode, but I will not break."

"I don't want to hurt you."

Jared grunted as Jensen's finger brushed across his prostate. "Fuck, you can never hurt me, please, oh, fucking please."

Jensen could feel the pleasure travel through Jared's body. He took the lube again and slicked himself up. Jared was in the perfect position, on his back, facing Jensen. Both men stared at one another. Kerr never made love to Jared; he always fucked him from the back, something that Jensen could never do. Jensen lifted Jared's left leg to over his right shoulder and curled Jared's right leg around his left hip and then pushed forward, guiding his cock home.

The initial burn was more than what Jared had expected and for a second his brain and body flashed back to past times. It was Jensen's voice that brought him back to the present.

"Eyes on me, Jay." Jensen's voice was rough. The moment he saw Jared closing his eyes, he knew what Jared felt and saw in his mind’s eye. He wouldn't allow that. "Eyes on me, baby." He kept still, only the tip of his cock breaching Jared's tight ring.

Jared found himself opening his eyes and stared into the emerald green eyes of Jensen. "I see you."

Jensen smiled softly and then pressed forward; he guided himself home inch by inch, giving Jared's body plenty of opportunity to adjust to the intrusion, but the whole time he stared into Jared's eyes, making sure Jared saw the love he felt for him there.

Jared gasped as Jensen filled him up. The sensation was something he had never experienced before. Except for the initial burn, this was nothing like any of the other times Kerr took him. It felt to him as if Jensen's cock was made for his body and Jared knew he would never get over feeling so complete without having Jensen within him. Both men sighed and shared a lingering kiss when Jensen bottomed out. Jared could feel Jensen's cock pulsating within him. The beats of their hearts held the same rhythm. He lifted his hips a bit higher and his eyes grew huge as Jensen's cock pushed into his prostate. "Move, please." He gasped for breath.

Jensen didn't need to be told twice. He slowly withdrew from Jared's channel and then pushed back again. His hips set an easy rhythm, he kept his strokes long and easy, both men getting lost in the movement of nature and just let it build up inside of them, wave after wave.

Jared reached for his cock the same moment Jensen's hands wrapped around his shaft. His whole world turned to white as together they stroked him to completion and as his world grayed out he felt Jensen stiffen up and Jensen's seed released inside of him, warming him gently, taking away the final piece of humiliation he experienced before at the hands of Kerr. Lovemaking would never be the same.

Jensen dropped Jared's leg from his shoulder and brought it lower to move it around his other hip, so that he was trapped inside of Jared's embrace. He leaned on his forearms and kissed Jared deeply again. Both men were breathing hard, their bodies still locked together in an embrace that would never feel the same again.

"I love you, Jay. I will always be here for you." Jensen whispered the words and kissed Jared again, their foreheads resting together as their bodies came down from the ultimate natural high the world could provide.

Jared sighed. "I love you to, Jensen." He closed his eyes and for the first time in many years Jared was safe in the arms of a man who loved him.

[ ](http://s792.photobucket.com/user/Dont_hate_me01/media/art22_zps7affd8f3.jpg.html)

**The End**


End file.
